I had a horrible nightmare. I've been awake for about a hour and a half now wishing it would go away - I very rarely remember dreams let alone nightmares but for some reason this one is remaining with me.
What I do remember of the dream is Cindy and I are in our relationship in this awful place that is so conservative it's pathetic. You know, I've written about it before.
There was a young gentleman (I use that term loosely as what he turns in to in the dream is far from that) who was one of my regular's. One who always asked for my section at work, who was always polite etc. One day I was off of work and he came in to eat - somehow or other during recent time it had become common knowledge that I was a lesbian to my co workers (not in real life but in the dream) and someone mentioned it to him out of pure maliciousness because they were aware that he had a crush on me. Well - he took it quite badly and when he came in the next time while I was working he confronted me about it I didn't deny it, I didn't affirm it but I didn't deny either. A few weeks past by and I started noticing him popping up places where I frequented, didn't think anything truly about it beyond a passing thought because this IS a small town, people cross each others paths all the time. Along this time in the dream my memory of it is foggy at best, but then it picks up where he breaks into a straight friends house that is very good friends w/ C. and I - he has a wife and 2 children. He shot the children, the wife & finally the friend - he shot him twice, but it didn't put him out (the friend) and he was conscious enough still where he tried to call 911 - the crazy person caught him doing it and shot him in the head. This went on over and over w/ friends of C's and I's...the last I remember he had broken into our house, shot the dogs and the cat and was about to shoot C. that's when I woke up. It was so vivid and it was one of those dreams where it hugs you deep into it and it won't allow you to wake up. I jerked myself awake finally and it was awful, it was like I was in a full panic attack and because I wasn't truly awake I went around the house looking for C. and the boys & kissy. Didn't start calming down till I had seen the boys asleep in the living room and texted C. to find out if she was ok (she's at work). She answered and that's when I started coming down off the panic issue.
Why the hell would I dream about something that awful??? I don't know why but its frightening in and of itself.
Thank goodness it was only a dream. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's just the anxiety of not being out, and living in a conservative area? Not sure, but yes, such nightmares can definitely linger with you.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness it was only a dream Teresa. Dreams usually mean something completely different though, so it's probably a good thing, not a bad thing. I hate having nightmares. I always have a hard time falling back asleep afterwards. xxoo
ReplyDeletewow..I don't know what it means but it sounds awful..I've had some bad ones too where you have to force yourself awake...
ReplyDeletetake care hun..x