Menopause - the light of my life.

Ok, I'm going through Menopause. Thrill a minute. I hate it.  My hormones are all over the damned place.  I am constantly HOT and I mean HOT!!  Guess who doesn't understand.  Doesn't care to understand the hot flashes. The hot flashes feel like I'm burning up from the inside out.  It's like you could touch my skin and feel me go up in a roar of fire.  Granted I don't have the periods anymore to worry about - or rather I haven't had one consecutively in months - that alone is the one relief.
I can't remember things I want to say or write.  Everything or nearly everything irritates the living crap out of me.
C. fusses at me when I'm washing dishes (don't run so much water) I'm thinking "so much water?? &*#$ the water - you want to do dishes feel free to do them or get me a damned dishwasher" - don't leave the light on - "I can't damned well SEE anything without the light, you do it your blasted self" - etc. etc.  I'm sure you get the idea. Don't you? 
So, when you see me lamenting, bitching, whining, complaining - forgetting where I put my head one minute and then finding 2 or 3 of those suckers laying around and I'm fussing about where the hell were you when I needed you...realize...I've reached a dangerous time in my mood swings...freaking Menopause.
Doesn't help that I can't afford to go  to a doctor to get any kind of help w/ it.  Insurance costs just too much freaking money.  Not to mention I couldn't even afford the prescriptions if I could have them.
Thought this was funny - woohoo -  It's just so "me" at the moment!!

Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS HOUSE! 
 

My two baby boys - Draco on top and Lares underneath.

Those of you who followed my first blog know all about my babies, but I'm going to tell the new readers about them.

Draco and Lares are litter mates - Lares was the eldest of the litter and Draco was the last one born in the same litter.  They're devoted to each other, you can't separate them or they have fits.  They would waste away w/out the other one there.  Ever read "Where the Red Fern Grows"? That's what would happen if anything happened to one or the other of them.

They are 3 years old now.  They are extremely smart, but then Border Collies are the smartest breed out there.  Ask most anyone.  Their mom and dad were champion dogs.  They are members of the Border Collie Kennel Association.  Pure bloods.  That doesn't matter worth a hill of beans to me, or them either :)

What does mean to me is the fact they are both devoted to C. and I.  They are extremely affectionate, spoiled and mischievous.  They love their treats, they love the cat...Lares more than Draco - Lares think Kizmet (Kissy) is all his.  She tolerates them - when Lares get's a little too playful believe me she lets him know to cut it out.  She can reach out that little paw faster than you can blink and pop him on the nose :)

I love all my babies.

  This is Ms. Kizmet  (aka "Kissy") the tiny but mighty :)

 This is my "Heathen" he and I went through literal hell together. He went on to the Summerland at 8:45 p.m. on October 31st, 2008.  We had each other for a very long time - I miss him just as much today as I did when he passed on.  I still love him w/ all my heart.  There will never be another cat like him in my life.  He saved me.   

He had the loudest purr - he often "kissed" me on my forehead.  

Heathen was a big boy -  about 25 lbs. and from the tip of his nose to the end of his awesome tail he measured about 3 feet long.  I wish I had known about feline diabetes...I probably could have helped him.  As it was he fractured the spinal disc between his back hips & it paralyzed him from his back legs down.  I fought for him w/ everything I had but it was his time to go lay in the perpetual sun and shade, chase butterflies and lizards.  I pray he is there for me when I come to him upon my passing.

I love you Heathen - my always Baby Boy.

A few new chapters of life - yet generally the same old blog as the last.

 

Once in my life a long time ago, I was able to walk through the woods with no fear. Around my 16th, 17th year of age I was attacked by a neighbor down the way; I'm sure you will have a clue as to what happened, luckily I was able to escape alive though he tried his damnedest for that not to happen.  After that I've never been the same when walking alone in the woods.  I've tried and tried over the years to change that yet it won't change - behind our home here in Texas there is a a large wooded area that goes for miles really, sporadically interwoven w/ small ranches and homesteads.  I look out at those woods & I think how beautiful it is. I also think about the bugs (they are prevalent here & BIG) I think about the thought & knowledge that there could be someone out there who could hurt me again. I think about those damned bugs that could crawl on me, or drop on my head from above in the trees or the fact that I could walk blindly into a spider's web. Just so you know? I absolutely HATE, DESPISE, LOATHE bugs of any shape, sort, manner of them. :) I can't stand ant hills, spider webs - I don't even care if the bugs are dead I still find them repulsive to the extreme.  I guess you could call it a phobia :)

The one's that stand out on the 10+ scale of bugs are Spiders, Roaches, Fleas and Ticks...oh yes, centipedes or millipedes whichever one they are - praying mantis's too.  I don't like any of the other sorts of bugs either but the one's mentioned are my biggies  lol.

I realize the paragraph above is somewhat disjointed and runs all together but heck, it's 3:23 in the a.m. and my brain isn't functioning as well as it should.  The reason for that is a whole different entry :)

My attention span hasn't gotten any better over the last year, in fact it's probably gotten worse - sooooooo expect me to just drop a entry right in the middle of it because as before once my brain wants to go somewhere else it does :)

I hope to have a few of you back from my old blog - yet, I also look forward to maybe making some new friends too. 

Till later.